danielmcbatman:

  • Abraham Lincoln never fought vampires or zombies 
  • Adolph Hitler was not machine gunned to death in a movie theater in Paris
  • Marty McFly did not invent Rock and Roll
  • Richard Nixon never dispatched Dr. Manhattan to end the Vietnam War

You never complained about these changes to history, so shut the fuck up about a black man playing a fictional spy, you idiotic, racist pricks. 

  • Cop: Have you been drinking?
  • Me: I been drankin'
  • Cop: Surfbort
  • Me: Surfbort

dogapult:

college is so weird like you give people a bunch of money to provide a service that just stresses you out and makes you poor so that hopefully one day they give you a piece of paper that says you’re qualified to earn all of that money back this is too much i need a drink

jamesfrancoe:

studies show that i am a fucking idiot

(Source: donniedarkheaux)

fuckinq:

my brain has too many tabs open

I still check on you.

skipxd:

No matter what happened between us, or how long its been since we last talked, I still care, I wanna know you’re doing and feeling. I don’t stalk you but just enough to know you’re okay because you’re still that person I miss and the person who will always be in my heart.

(Source: tumblrsupreme)

constantlyweird:

Yo not tryin to brag but I’d be such a good girlfriend. Like I’d make you food all the time and take naps with you all day. WHAT ELSE DO BOYS NEED

i-n-s-e-c-u-r-e-d:

dejectedl0ve:

I suck at life

I love you